I wish you all could've met me two years ago. Back when I was still a force of nature. Before anything bad had happened, and I still had the whole world at my feet. Back up until the day I was standing at the top of Jeff Hill, looking down at East Green, thinking that I was doing a good job making people proud, but I could do better...

That's the last moment I remember happily contemplating my future. The moments I can remember contemplating my life since are either anxiety driven or Jake-driven, and those moments with him can't count. Or maybe they can. But it wasn't based on anything in my life besides being with him. The rest of my life was pretty much shit then anyway.

I wish I could go back to that moment of my life between that moment on Jeff Hill and now when things started going wrong. What decision I made that took me to this page of the "Rachel's Life: Choose your own Adventure Book!". The only problem is, the wrong choices in the choose your own adventure books usually get you killed pretty quickly, so there really isn't much suffering or suspense and there really is no false hope given.

This is the worst book I've ever read so far. The beginning was the happiest. And it all went downhill from there. Even the short stories of my life are wonderful at the beginning and filled with shit by the end.

Life...it was never how it was supposed to be.